What should I be when I grow up?

So this post is really more about me than it is about Macklin, although it would obviously affect him. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I LOVE, LOVE being a SAHM to my little man, but I know that I'm going to want to work at some point. Maybe not until Mack and any future siblings are in school, but eventually I do plan to work again.

I thought when I went back to school to get my accounting degree that I had found the perfect gig for a mom who wants to work part-time. And maybe that's still possible, I just don't know where to find it. I had hoped that I'd be able to do it at EY, but at least in the current economic environment, flex arrangements are few and far between. I've looked around a bit and really haven't seen anything that would work. Again, who knows how much of this is related to the economy - maybe it'll be a different story in a couple of years.

In theory, since I have my CPA I should be able to work for myself - find my own clients, set my own hours, work out of my home, etc. Sounds pretty perfect, right? But where are these clients and how do I find them?

Don't get me wrong - I love being a SAHM. I adore my son and I consider it an absolute blessing to be able to stay home with him. I am so happy that Ryan is able to provide for us and that his job enables me to be home with Macklin. I know that what I'm doing is vitally important to Mack's development during these formative years, and that there is no job more important than shaping the life of a child. But...

I'm getting a little better with this, but as I've told Ryan a few times - sometimes I feel like I don't do anything! I've got the hanging-out-with-Mack-while-he's-awake part down great - we play together and have a fantastic time. He's such a happy kid that it's infectious - you can't help smiling around him. But now that he's napping better, I have a lot more free time on my hands. There's only so much cleaning I can do. I've worked on my scrapbooks a bit, but after about a week of that I feel like I'm out of fresh ideas and need a break from it. I've read a few books in the last few months, but they never last me more than a few days.

I've been on the hunt for a project. I've thought off and on over the last couple of years about getting my master's, which would qualify me to teach at the college level someday. So I need to decide if that's something I truly want to do at some point. Because if I don't, having a master's in accounting will do nothing else for me and it would be an absolute waste of my time and money to pursue. Ninety percent of my coworkers at EY had their master's and we were all on the same level. As much as I love school and would enjoy taking classes, it'd be silly to pursue it if I'm not going to use it . Although Ryan thought it sounded just fine if I want to take classes for the fun of it - according to him, all good hobbies are expensive :)

Because it would give me more options, in theory, I've also looked into getting my MBA. In addition to qualifying me to teach, I could also potentially work as a consultant. I could do so either through Iowa State or the University of Iowa, as both have part-time programs here in town. After a little bit of research and some practical thinking, I've realized this doesn't make much sense because -

1) it would cost around $25,000!!!! That's a really expensive hobby, and

2) who is really going to hire me as a consultant down the road when I haven't worked for 5-10 years?

So what should I do? Since I have so much trouble making up my mind on my own, I've taken to consulting my Dove Promises wrappers in hopes of finding an answer. So far I have...

'Learn to let go.'

'Love yourself. Dare to dream. Live on purpose.'

'Savor the now!'

'Chase your dreams.'

Hmmm, seems like I'm getting conflicting advice. And a belly ache. Maybe this isn't the best method.

Seriously though, I've kind of determined that, at least at this point in time, future schooling isn't really in the cards. Or, it at least needs a lot more thought and I can't plan to start this spring like I would've liked. I'm still so up in the air about it all that it doesn't make sense for me to jump in now. If nothing else, researching my options gave me something to do for a few days :).